moon in a dewdrop

lately i've been obsessed with buddhist philosophy. here's a list of the books i've read in the last few months:

the rebel buddha -  dzogchen ponlop

zen keys - thich nhat hanh
the places that scare you - pema chodron
the heart of buddha's teaching - thich nhat hanh
moon in a dewdrop - writings of zen master dogen (just started)

i've also watched countless documentaries about the buddha, buddhism, india, and basically anything i can find on eastern philosophy.

it seems i'm looking for something. the trouble is, it's sort of hard to find because i don't exactly know what it is, or how to go about finding it. it's like i'm in a dark room, but i don't even know that much.

one thing is - i'd like to learn how to love something or someone or everyone, really. but, everyone is a lot to ask for, when i'm just starting out. to start out, i figure, something small is better. maybe a speck of dust on my computer screen, or the picture i found on the street. maybe someone imaginary would be a good place to start.

i'm just not sure. but, that seems like part of it. saying it's time to cut the crap and stay there. grow up.

Hatred never ceases by hatred

But by love alone is healed.

This is an ancient and eternal law.